JKF Journal

What to do with condolence letters?

2010-04-09T08:22:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago a friend told me about a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It was a clever little book with lots of tidbits on things that make us happy- one of which was doing something that you have been putting off for a long time, like putting together scrapbooks. Each of my children has a baby book except for Sam, who is now eight years old. His book was my first priority. So, feeling inspired by The Happiness Project and knowing how great I would feel if I completed this nagging task that I had been putting off for years, I gathered the boxes of pictures that had been sitting on a bookshelf. Then I went into every room in the house and gathered the stragglers- the pictures the children had snagged from the boxes over the years. I put them all in the dining room and started sorting and filing just as The Happiness Project suggested. After a little while Sam and Eva came to hep. Jack moved his homework into the dining room and we all started going through the pictures.

One of the boxes contained the condolence letters that people had written to us when Josie died. I had not looked at these letters in over eight years. Eva, who is now twelve, started looking through some of them. She was three when Josie died and I don't think she remembered much. I watched her as she read one and then another. I wanted to somehow casually take the letter from her without making a big deal. I didn't want her to read them. I didn't want her to know about all of that horrible, sad, grieving condolence letter stuff, but I didn't take them away. I let her read. After reading a few she dumped them all out and put them in a neat pile, and then went outside to play basketball with Sam.

I picked up the letter she had placed on top of the pile and began reading. It was as if the piece of paper had come to life. The words threw me right back to those awful weeks and months. It all came back- that horrible feeling of loss and helplessness. I put the letter down and looked at the pile and then I looked over at the fire burning in the fireplace. I wanted to lay them one by one in the flames and be forever done with all of that sadness. I decided that before I destroyed the letters I needed to think about it first.

I've been thinking and pondering for the past week and I still don't know what to do. I've even asked other people their thoughts on the subject. What happens to condolence letters? How long should we save them? A part of me wonders if it would be healthy to get rid of them, to close the door on that part of life. Why save something that brings back such sad memories? It's not like they are photographs- snapshots into a life that once existed. Those I would never throw away. The letters are just pieces of paper with sad, depressing words- words I don't want to read again.

But then a part of me thinks I should let them be, and I don't know why. Would my children ever want to read them? Would their children? I don't know. I decided I should ask my husband Tony. His response: "I never knew we still had them." In his mind they had been tossed years ago. Hmmm, this seemed like more of a reason to get rid of them.

I needed to ask another mother who lost a child. My friend's son died twenty years ago. She had kept the condolence letters in a box in the attic and never read them. Every few years, she would go to the box, take a handful out, and put them in the trash. Five minutes later, she would go back to the trash, pull them out and return them to the box in the attic. "I don't know why I do that," she said. "It just feels weird throwing them out."

I'm still sort of wondering what to do. The letters are upstairs in the hallway waiting to be placed back in the attic for another eight years. Or perhaps they will go into the trash. The Happiness Project does say to get rid of clutter, but maybe clutter is not the right word here. The letters are a different type of clutter which I can't quite explain. For now, I walk past the box of letters in the hallway and wonder what other people have done with theirs.

Visiting Excela Health

2010-03-29T10:36:00.005-04:00

A few days ago I went to Pennsylvania to speak at a patient safety event sponsored by Excela Health. It was a pretty drive- through Maryland, across the Appalachian Mountains, and then into the Allegheny Mountains heading through Southern Pennsylvania. As Tom the driver and I drove deeper into central Pennsylvania, we passed through little towns- Breezewood, Somerset, Ligonier. I imagined these were old mining towns that were once bustling with life and growth. I was sad to see so many empty storefronts with "For Rent" signs in the windows.

Latrobe, Pennsylvania, was my destination. Tom is a history buff and with every trip we go on he always does a little research and shares his interesting tidbits with me. Fred Rogers (of "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood") grew up in Latrobe, and so did the golfer Arnold Palmer. Plus, the banana split was first created in Latrobe.

The great people of Excela Health organized a wonderful event: a reception at 5:30 pm with delicious food, my presentation at 6:30, and a book signing to follow.

There were a couple of things that made this event stand out for me:

-It was held in the Fred Rogers Center - a beautiful facility donated by Mr. Rogers' family. There were glass cases that held Mr. Rogers' famous red sweater and blue coat, his blue sneakers and loafers, and the puppets- King Friday and Lady Elaine. All of this notes- yellowing and faded- that he had written for the shows were displayed in the cases. I am 44 year old. I grew up with Mr. Rogers, so it was fun to see all of this.

-Excela did something that most hospitals- at least the ones at which I have been invited to speak- have not done before. They opened up the event to the entire community. It was nice that they recognized that this topic- patient safety- was not just for the health care industry. It was about getting the patient and the family involved. This was something that I had wanted to see for many years and it was a thrill to finally be able to speak to not only health care providers, but regular people just like me.

-The book signing began much like the others. I wrote notes and signed books for doctors, nurses, board members, administrators. Then I began seeing young (really young) faces- students who were in medical school, nursing school and even students who were in high school. A young boy with a baseball cap and jeans that hung low on his hips handed me the book and said, "I think I might want to be a doctor one day." I wrote a long note to him and handed him back the book. He read the note and then stuck his hand out to shake mine and said, "Thank you, Mrs. King."

It was great to meet these young, fresh, bright minds and I am honored that they took time out of their evenings when they could have been doing homework, playing sports, chatting on Facebook, or watching TV to come hear me speak and buy Josie's Story. They will read the book and I hope their dreams of becoming doctors and nurses will come true. I believe if they do, they will always remember Josie.

Thank you, Excela Health, for all of your great patient safety work. Thanks, too, for a wonderful evening. Most of all, thank you to all of the students who came to hear me. Study hard and become doctors and nurses. You are the next generation, the new culture. YOU will make a difference in the lives of many.

-Sorrel

Getting a Grip on My Fear of Flying

2010-03-24T07:53:00.003-04:00

I've never really liked flying. As I've gotten older, my fear and dread of flying the friendly skies has only gotten worse. I'm not sure why that is- maybe it's because my children have already suffered the loss of a sibling and I just don't want them to have to suffer another loss. Since my book Josie's Story was released a few months ago, my time spent on airplanes has increased dramatically. I've been to twenty-five cities in the past seven months. Any chance I can hop on a train (which is not too often) I take it.

The plane lifts off, and it's the same every time. My hands are sweaty. My mouth is dry. My stomach is in knots. As the plane continues to list itself further and further away from the ground I am certain that soon it will decide that the load of passengers, bags and highly flammable gas is too heavy and the only thing to do is to plop to the ground and explode into a ball of flames. Once the plane levels off and the stewardesses begin serving drinks, I settle down a little until I feel the slightest bump or hear the faintest out-of-the-ordinary sound- surely an engine malfunction- then my panic attack starts all over again. When the plane lands I always give the pilot a little smile and say thank you. I am grateful and I am exhausted and my trip has just begun.

Not long ago I told myself I was either going to give up the travel (which meant giving up the book tour and my work with the health care industry) or I had to get a grip on the situation and find a way to deal with it. I decided I would face the problem head on and try to fix it myself before I went the route of seeing a shrink (which I had no time for) or taking some sort of medication (which I didn't want to do).

So after seven months of frequent air travel, here is how I deal with my fear of flying:

-When I am buying magazines in the airport before my flight, I say to the cashier, "I hope my plane does not crash." If the plane were to crash, it would be too weird of a coincidence for the cashier lady. A coincidence like that must be highly unlikely, therefore I am decreasing the chances for the plan to crash. A few flights ago, I decided this strategy was a bit odd (particularly for the cashier at the Hudson News store at BWI), so I no longer use it.

-If I can't find someone to talk to during takeoff I read my "People Magazine". It is easy to read and entertaining enough to get your mind off of what is happening. I also chew two pieces of Orbit chewing gum.

-Leaving a little work undone that absolutely MUST be done before arriving at your final destination forces you to focus on something else.

-Listening to good music helps block out the scary noises of the engines.

The thing that really helps the most is the realization I came to thanks to the wise words of my English friend who flies often from London to the States. She mentioned that her most recent flight took eight hours longer than it should have. I asked her why. She proceeded to explain that two hours after take-off they had to return to Heathrow because of a high terrorist alert that had just gone into effect. After another few hours of searching the plane the passengers re-boarded and once again headed west across the Atlantic.

What struck me about her story was not just the story itself, but rather the way she told it. It was as if she were telling me about a trip to the grocery store.

"Weren't you scared?" I asked her.

"What is the point of being scared and getting worked up when you have absolutely no control over the situation. It is an absurd and ridiculous waste of precious energy," she said in her beautiful English accent. "When it is your time to go, it is your time to go. You can't control that, so why waste your energy worrying?"

What she said made sense. Getting worked up, being afraid does not prevent the plane from crashing. It IS pointless. It IS a waste of energy. She was right. When it is our time to go, we go and we can't control that. We might as well just relax.

So I read my "People Magazine", chew my gum, listen to my iPod, and do my work that absolutely must be done before I arrive at the next city. I don't mind sitting by the window anymore. Sometimes I even lean against it and look past the five inch-thick piece of metal and plastic that separates me from the 30,000-foot drop. I look down at all the little houses with the little swimming pools and the little, tiny cars that travel on the little, grey strips of road and I think how pretty it all is.

I am no longer exhausted by the flights. I am actually quite productive. I get my work done; sometimes I even get extra work done. I read the newspaper or books off of my beloved Kindle. I get geared up for the next city, the next group of amazing nurses and doctors- or better yet, back home to my family in Baltimore.

Care Journals Back in Stock

2010-03-17T10:37:00.003-04:00

Hello everybody-

I'm happy to report that Care Journals are back in stock. Anybody who requested a Care Journal and was put on the wait list will be mailed their Care Journals next week.

Email carejournal@josieking.org or awesol@josieking.org with any questions that you have about the Care Journal.

Thanks!

-Andrea

Indiana - Working Together to Eliminate Health Care Acquired Infections

2010-03-04T10:30:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday I spent the day with doctors, nurses and health care administrators from all around the state of Indiana. These health care providers had come to Indianapolis to attend a leadership conference put on by the Indiana State Department of Health.

The first ISDH leadership conference was in 2007. Seven hundred and twenty people came. This year, over 1,000 people participated. Preventing health care acquired infections was the focus of this meeting. It is a timely and important topic. Just last week, the Archives of Internal Medicine released a study showing that hospital acquired sepsis and pneumonia killed 48,000 people and cost $8.1 billion in extra health care costs in 2006. These are just two of the many hospital acquired infections that harm patients. The CDC estimates that there are 1.7 million health care acquired infections annually, and 99,000 patients die each year because of them.

This is a subject that means a great deal to me. A hospital acquired infection played a part in my daughter Josie's death. This was a conference I needed to be a part of.

I have always enjoyed statewide collaborations on patient safety. It is exciting to follow the journey of a group of health care professionals from different facilities coming together, sharing information, helping each other achieve a goal that they all have in common. I had seen this happen in Michigan, Tennessee, and North Carolina. Now I hoped to be able to watch Indiana- a state I had been to three times in the past seven months (with two more visits scheduled in the next two months), a state where I was meeting hundreds of amazing health care providers, a state I was becoming very fond of- tackle this problem.

My job was to kick off the meeting. My goal was to inspire these health care facilities to join in this statewide collaboration. It would mean hard, hard work for those that signed up. It would mean reporting every single, ugly, little hospital infection that occurred- full, scary transparency. The ISDH had funding for some of the facilities to partake in this 18-month effort to reduce health care associated infections. I wanted them all to sign up, and I hoped that if that happened that somewhere, somehow the ISDH could dig up the extra funding.

I made the most of my 45 minutes speaking to the group. I hope I did a good job. I think I might have, but I won't feel satisfied with what I did until I know that the collaboration is in full swing with a full load of facilities signed up and chomping at the bit to fix this problem.

Thank you, Indiana, for letting me be a part of such an important day. Keep up the good work. I'll be rooting for you.

-Sorrel

P.S.- The ISHD had copies of my book on hand during the lunch break. I enjoyed meeting so many wonderful people (mostly nurses) and I enjoyed having the honor of writing notes to them in the front pages of Josie's Story. I am glad that there is a memory of Josie left behind in Indiana because I know her story will help push them the extra mile. Unfortunately the books sold out. To those who stood in line and did not receive a book, you can learn how to get a signed copy on our website. Thank you.

"Josie's Story" a National MS Society Books for a Better Life Winner

2010-02-23T06:14:00.004-05:00

Last night, the National MS Society chose Sorrel's book Josie's Story as the winner in the "First Book" category of their Books for a Better Life Award. Many thanks to the New York City - Southern New York Chapter of the National MS Society for this honor. The recognition came on a particularly poignant day, as yesterday was the ninth anniversary of Josie's death. Thanks again to the National MS Society, and everybody who has read and shared the book.

For more information on the Books for a Better Life Award and the National MS Society, visit their website.

Care Journal on Back Order

2010-02-03T10:32:00.003-05:00

Hello everybody-

The Care Journals are currently on back order. We hope to have Care Journals back in stock in late February. We are adding requests for Care Journals to a wait list, and will ship Care Journals as soon as we can.

Please continue to email your questions or requests to carejournal@josieking.org during this time.

Thank you for understanding.

-Andrea

50 Influential Women

2010-01-11T07:42:00.002-05:00

Hello everybody-

Sorrel has been named one of 50 influential women who are changing the world by Woman's Day magazine.

Read Sorrel's story and see the entire list here.

Thanks to Woman's Day for this honor!

-Andrea

Shipment Notice for 2009

2009-12-10T07:50:00.003-05:00

Hello everybody-

The last shipment of 2009 will be mailed on Thursday, December 17. Requests received by 4:00 pm EST on Wednesday, December 16 will be included in the shipment. Requests received after 4:00 pm EST on Wednesday, December 16 will be shipped in January 2010.

Affected items include:

"The Josie King Story" DVD
Signed copies of Josie's Story
Care Journal (small quantities only)
Nursing Journal (small quantities only)

We may be able to facilitate bulk orders of the Care Journal and Nursing Journal through the end of December. Please email Andrea at awesol@josieking.org if you are interested in learning more details.

Thanks for understanding!

-Andrea

"Josie's Story" named a top health book in 2009

2009-12-08T14:37:00.005-05:00

Hello everybody-

Josie's Story has been chosen as one of the top health books in 2009 by the Wall Street Journal's Laura Landro!

Her description of Josie's Story plus the other books honored can be found online: http://tinyurl.com/yfu6xgu.

We'll be reading some of Laura's other interesting choices.

Thanks for the acknowledgement!

-Andrea

Sorrel's Visit to Richmond, VA

2009-10-26T10:48:00.003-04:00

Hello everybody-

On Tuesday, October 27, Sorrel is visiting her home town of Richmond, VA, for a book event:

St. Stephen's Parish Hall
6000 Grove Avenue

6:30 pm - 8:00 pm

Sorrel will discuss her book Josie's Story, and the medical errors that led to her daughter Josie's death.

If you are interested in attending, please RSVP to awesol@josieking.org.

Thanks!

-Andrea

Josie's Story Excerpt on Oprah.com

2009-10-21T12:18:00.003-04:00

Hi everybody-

Just wanted to share some exciting news: there is an excerpt from Sorrel's book Josie's Story now up on Oprah.com. Please click to read it, and share the link with anybody you think might be interested.

Thanks!

-Andrea

At the Ivy Bookshop

2009-09-23T15:07:00.003-04:00

Last week I had a book signing at the local Ivy Bookshop in my hometown of Baltimore. The Ivy- wedged between a Blockbuster and a men's clothing store just a mile from my house- has been a part of my book journey from the very beginning.

I had fallen into a good routine with the writing- after dropping the children off at school I would sit down in front of my laptop and start to write. It took about four hours of writing before the silence would start to bother me and the loneliness would set in. It was then that I knew I needed to head to the Ivy. It felt good to be surrounded by the books that covered every possible inch of the little store. I would usually buy a book, but the real reason I was there was because of Bonnie, Shirley, Alice and Greg. Every time I walked into the store they would ask me how the book was coming and they would say, "One day we will have a book signing party for you."

For a long time no one knew I was writing a book. But my friends at the Ivy did, and for two years they encouraged me and pushed me along. I never thought the day would come when my book would be lining the Ivy shelves, much less find a place in the front window, but it did. As Josie's Story tiptoed into the world, the book events began to fill my calendar- with the Ivy event set for Sunday, September 13.

I wasn't sure what would be worse: standing in front of 1,000 health care professionals- total strangers- or standing in front of the community in which I lived. What if no one showed up? What if they hated the book?

The Sunday afternoon was beautiful- not too hot. The sun had lowered itself behind the building just enough to provide the perfect amount of shade for the guests who sat outside in chairs that were lined up amphitheater-style. Tables of food surrounded the edges.

Dr. Peter Pronovost- a doctor from Hopkins who over the years had not only become a partner in my quest to improve patient safety, but had become my friend- introduced me to the guests. As I had seen so many times before, Peter captivated the audience with his brilliance, his charisma and his humility.

I had jotted down some notes on what I was going to say, but as I stood behind the podium I realized that I didn't need my notes. These were my friends, my family. I've learned that sometimes- actually, always- it is best just to speak from the heart. It does not matter who is in the audience- whether it is a large group of nurses and doctors or a small group of family and friends. All that matters is the message. If you have a message that you are passionate about, it will just sort of find its way from your head, through your heart, and right on out into the world.

I signed books with Sam my seven-year-old by my side. Friends would ask him to sign his name next to mine. With a black Sharpie pen gripped tightly between his little fingers, he concentrated hard and signed his name in perfect Calvert script. It became a book signing not just for me, but for my entire family with Jack, Relly and Eva filling requests to sign their names alongside Sam's. This was not just my journey. This was their journey, their story.

Thank you to Darielle Linehan and the Ivy Bookshop for getting so behind Josie's Story. Not only did they put on a beautiful event, but they also agreed to donate a portion of their proceeds to the Josie King Foundation. The little Ivy Bookshop is truly a bookstore with a heart- a BIG heart- and a desire to make a difference in people's lives.

Thank you to Peter Pronovost, whose work continues to transform health care for us all.

Most of all, thank you to my family and friends for coming out to support Josie's Story.

Watch Sorrel on NBC's TODAY Show

2009-09-21T11:08:00.003-04:00

This morning, Sorrel appeared on NBC's TODAY Show with Matt Lauer and Dr. Nancy Snyderman. They discussed the problem of medical errors, and Josie's Story.

Click to watch a clip of the interview.

Thanks!

September 8th - Official Book Release of "Josie's Story"

2009-09-08T04:06:00.004-04:00

My book Josie's Story has been in stores for a number of weeks, however today- September 8th- is the official publication date. It is now in stores nationwide- 20,000 hardback copies in Barnes and Nobles, Borders, Amazon.com and book stores in little towns and big cities all across America and Canada.

September 8th has been on my mind for many months. Will I regret having written the book? Will I regret having Josie's story- my family's story- out there for everyone to read? Did I do a good job? Will people like it? What if they hate it? I have decided that I cannot worry about those things anymore because they are now out of my hands. I will simply cross my fingers and hope that people will like the book and hope, hope, hope that the book will perhaps make a difference in someone's life- a mother who has lost a child, a nurse who is finding a way to speaking up and prevent a medical error, a patient who is in the hospital bed and is not sure about the medication that is about to be administered.

It took me four years off and on to write the book. When I signed the book deal with Grove/Atlantic two years ago it was no longer off and on. I learned that deadlines are good things. It was a long, sometimes lonely, two years of writing with some ups and downs along the way. When my editor told me the whole thing needed to be restructured, I wasn't sure how I would do it. But I trudged along, knowing that I had to do the work. I had to get to September 8th and I had to do a good job.

In a few days I will pack my bag and leave my family, whom I have never left for more than a day, for an entire week. This will be the beginning of a Fall book tour. I will travel to hospitals around the country and do my best to inspire doctors, nurses, pharmacists, risk managers, and CEOs, to continue their essential work on the patient safety front. At each event Josie's Story will be available. I look forward to spending time with the many great health care providers I will be meeting.

I am ready for the second part of the book journey. I hope this part of the journey will further raise awareness about medical errors and patient safety, further inspire health care providers and further educate patients and their families. But most of all I hope people just like Josie's Story.

I look forward to reporting in after my travels.

From the Institute for Family-Centered Care Conference

2009-09-04T04:51:00.005-04:00

Hi there-

In August, Sorrel had the opportunity to attend the Institute for Family-Centered Care's 4th International Conference in Philadelphia. The Institute for Family-Centered Care (IFCC) is a non-profit working with patient advocates and health care providers to improve care delivery. Sorrel was honored to deliver the closing plenary address. IFCC hosted two book signings in support of Josie's Story. Sorrel loved meeting with the dedicated conference attendees, who are going back to hospitals all around the country and work to strengthen productive partnerships between families and health care providers. Thank you to everybody who stopped by the book table.

Here are two pictures from Philly:

Photo Credit: Institute for Family Centered Care

Thanks to the entire IFCC's team- with a special nod to Bev Johnson and Julie Ginn Moretz- for their hard work in creating a meaningful, successful conference!

-Andrea

P.S.- Come back next week for a special note from Sorrel.

Parents the "Missing Link" in Patient Safety Efforts

2009-08-04T04:42:00.004-04:00

Hello everybody-

A fascinating new report on the role of parents in pediatric patient safety efforts is published in the July 30 issue of Journal of Hospital Medicine (paid registration required). A summary of the article is available through the University of Michigan.

Beth A. Tarini, MD, MS, assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan Medical School, and her co-authors Paula Lozano, MD, MPH, and Dimitri A. Christakis, MD, MPH, of the Seattle Children's Hospital Research Institute, looked into parents' perceptions of medical errors, patient safety, and communication. They found that nearly two-thirds of parents felt that they had to closely oversee their children's hospital care to prevent a medical error from happening.

Interestingly, parents who reported a higher level of confidence in communicating with the medical team were less likely to be worried by the potential for medical errors.

Dr. Tarini draws an important conclusion: "We need to address parents' concerns about errors and find ways to make them feel comfortable talking to us about their child's care. Parents are an underutilized resource in our efforts to prevent medical errors."

I can't echo Dr. Tarini's sentiment enough. While some parents are trained medical professionals, most are not. But parents- because of their close relationships with their children- are often able to sense important but subtle changes in their children's conditions. Parents are more than visitors. They have the potential to meaningfully contribute to their children's medical care. Time has come to harness that potential.

-Andrea

JKF now on Facebook!

2009-08-04T04:27:00.004-04:00

Hello everybody-

First Twitter, now Facebook!

The Josie King Foundation now has a presence on Facebook. Please check us out and link to us.

Thanks for your support!

-Andrea

Summer Shipping Details

2009-07-20T08:49:00.004-04:00

Hello everybody-

Just a quick note to let you know that there will be a shipment of "The Josie King Story" DVDs and single copies of the Care Journal going out on Wednesday, July 22. If you would like a copy of either the DVD or the Care Journal soon, please email awesol@josieking.org by 5 pm EST on Tuesday, July 21.

Requests received after Tuesday at 5 pm will be shipped the week of August 14th.

We will still be able to process bulk Care Journal requests during this time.

Thanks for understanding!

-Andrea

"The Josie King Story" DVD is back in stock

2009-07-13T08:50:00.002-04:00

Hello everybody-

Just a note to let you know that "The Josie King Story" DVD is back in stock. Email dvd@josieking.org to order a copy. Thanks for your patience!

-Andrea

Josie King Foundation now on Twitter

2009-07-01T10:59:00.002-04:00

Hello everybody-

I'm happy to report that the Josie King Foundation is now on Twitter! You can follow us at www.twitter.com/jkfaw.

We're looking forward to connecting with the patient safety community here.

How do you use Twitter?

-Andrea

More Great Advice from Nurses

2009-04-16T11:36:00.004-04:00

Hello again-

The rejuvenating tips from nurses on how to cope with work-related stress keep rolling in. I just wanted to share the latest bits of advice with you.

Keep 'em coming! Keep spreading the word about this project!

-Sorrel

"I de-stress by dancing at least once or twice a week. I love dancing - it is something that helps keep me sane and gives me something to look forward to outside of work. One tip for work stress: Don't take things personally. If a patient/colleague/family member/MD snaps at you, it's not you - they are stressed out too. I find laughing defuses the situation - it helps them relax. It also prevents me from getting angry - which would just escalate the situation. Yeah, don't take things personally is the best advice I've been given. I also vent to my nursing colleagues - it helps to know that other people are sharing your pain." - C. Rae

"Take a moment everyday to reflect on what went well, what didn't go so well, and what you can do better tomorrow.

Always take a moment to take a deep breath when the world is moving quickly by you and you can't keep up. Who knows your speed might be what everyone should be moving at throughout the day.

Baking fresh treats for your co-workers is the best medicine and always makes a nurse's day brighter." - Sheryl C., RN, MSN, Washington, DC

"I find that in order to care well for others, I must first take care of myself. Without my health, I wouldn't have the strength to perform the hard work nursing requires. Daily exercise and good nutrition are essential to helping me cope with stress. I love group fitness classes, weightlifting, and 'clean' eating!

I also set aside one night a week to relax and have a date night with my husband." - Kathryn A., BSN, RN, South Lyon, MI

"As a NP I try to remember to always thank everyone for helping me to help my patients. It really is a group effort. And thanking people is a great way to defuse stress as it makes people feel appreciated. Surprising the staff every once in awhile with cookies or another treat goes a long way to making people feel appreciated. Praying with patients and staff is a great way to lessen stress." - Kimberly B., MSN, CRNP, Pittsburgh, PA

"I know that it sounds sappy but...I try to appreciate all the good things, my family, my health, my job, etc. I don't want to be in the position (like some of my patients and families) of having regrets (the could of, should have syndrome) in life. I am not waiting for retirement to care for myself, to tell my husband or children that I love them, or to just be in the moment. Life will probably always be too short but my glass is more than 1/2 full." - Maureen

"I find good friends to be the best stress relief. I love my coworkers and we go out regularly to debrief about work and personal lives. I also value my non-nurse friends that I don't talk about work with. They help me remember there is more to life." - Anonymous

"We go through so much each day. I have been a nurse for many years, most in the Baltimore area. What really helps me is thinking about how the families and patients feel, particularly after losing a child. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the technology and what we have to get done each shift. However, when I start feeling that way, I think, if this was my family, how would I feel and what can I do to make it better. That is how I cope." - Joanne M., RN, MSN, NE-BC, FABC, Newark, DE

Nursing Project Update

2009-03-28T04:30:00.007-04:00

Thank you to all of the nurses who sent us their words of wisdom on how they deal with work-related stress. We are compiling these tips into a toolkit specifically for nurses. This project is under development.

Below this note are some of the great comments we have received. Please take a look. I hope you find them as helpful and inspirational as I do. Please, please keep the comments coming and spread the word to other nurses who many have a helpful tip they want to share. Remember, you can post your advice directly on the blog, or you can send an email to nursing@josieking.org.

Thanks, too, to everybody who has helped us spread the word about this project. Your efforts are really making a difference!

-Sorrel

"Having spent most of my nursing career working in Adult ICU, I find that staying 'grounded' literally helps keep me sane! I like to spend time outdoors - whether trout fishing on a beautiful stream or lake, working in my yard or garden, or just taking a walk really helps puts things in perspective. I especially find sharing time and talking with my family helps maintain balance." - Tamma

"I think my staff is just the greatest. When our work life becomes very challenging I like to have lunch with the staff and catch up on what is happening in their home life. It does help maintain balance. We have mini "Lunch and Learns"; we lunch and learn that life does not have to be all serious." - Mary Ann, Pittsburgh, PA

"One of the things that I feel has the most impact on helping nurses to cope with the everyday stress is the fact that we are a team of professionals and when push comes to shove, stand together and help each other - basically we are each other's counselors. We openly discuss our feelings with our co-workers and cry together while giving each other hugs and letting each other know we are here and that we all understand what each other is going through. That kind of support is not felt in many other professions. We are a team of support and care for all!" - Tracy N., RN, BSN, MSN, Pittsburgh, PA

"Learning to de-stress, by spending time with my daughters or just me by reading a good book or going for a run with my dog. In my dream world every healthcare facility would have a gym and a massage parlor to help encourage all healthcare workers to take a moment to de-stress so we can think clearly." - Kimberley S., RN, Ontario, Canada

"I try to look for the humor in an otherwise difficult situation, to make myself laugh and others laugh, and to remind us all to not take ourselves TOO seriously. Laughter IS the best medicine and a unifying force in the midst of stress." - Sue

"I'm an optimist and try to maintain that optimism while working in a 'negative' or stressful environment. I like little quotes that I can hold onto. Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill states, 'A pessimist sees the difficulties in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.' Thoughts like Churchill's keep me going. Here is another one: 'In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure,' from Bill Cosby." - Laura S., Lewes, DE

"I love to sew- especially baby quilts or crafts. While I'm sewing, I'm thinking about the new baby- and am always amazed by the miracle of new life and I know I have the opportunity to touch 'life' while I work. I am filled with wonder!" - Anonymous

"As a pediatric nurse, some days are definitely better than others. When the stress seems like it has taken over my life some strategies I use to cope include; having a good hearty belly laugh in the company of good friends, taking a trip to the playroom for some BINGO with the kids during a break, and remembering to step back for a minute to remember WHY I am a nurse and what my purpose is." - Alicia

"I recently started beading and I love to see what my imagination can create. I also have done scrapbooking for many years. I love to recall the memories of the event. I have recently been asked to teach scrapbooking to middle school age children who attend after school activities programs." - Lori

"I started exercising. Now to burn off stress, I run. In fact, I am running my first 5k this spring. I am also a bit (45 lbs) lighter, which is great, too. I feel so much better now that I have consciously taken my stressors off of me." - Elizabeth, Michigan

"Exercise always makes me feel best - I love riding my bicycle and get together with a co-worker that lives close by. We'll get together and chat and ride at the same time. I belong to a hiking/biking group. If I can get to a hike or ride once a week, I'm happy. The rest of the time is spent walking my dog when I have time to get out." - Dorothee K., Pittsburgh, PA

"I think stress relief depends on the energy needed to be expelled or reversed.

When I need to de-stress and calm down, walks in the forest and on the beach of Lake Michigan can be the best (especially with the dog). Other calming activities have included yoga, reading a novel by the fireplace, and cooking with family/friends.

The other spectrum, of energy "release" needs, can be best met by a workout at the gym, working in the yard, cleaning the car or the garage, and my favorite of all, is going out after work with a fun group of friends for munchies and cocktails (try to do that every couple months!)." - Todd K., RN, Holland, MI

"As a pediatric nurse working in ICU and the Peds ER for over 25 years I have seen more than a lifetime's share of tragedy and sadness when children are severely injured or killed. I have found peace in the ability to return to work to face another day only through the faith I have in God. I try to pray every day. I especially pray during a code - for the doctors and nurses administering care to the child, and for the parents. I found taking a walk or a drive and being quiet with God allows him to minister to my heart and heal me." - Ann D., RN, Copiague, NY

"My faith has carried my through my nursing career for 30 years and it has never failed me. Surrounding myself with my family and a few close friends has also been very important in coping." - Sandy

"I cope by listening to those who trust me enough to share their pain. Just by having someone open their heart to share the pure emotion, all of my stress seems to melt, and I find myself feeling very thankful and at peace with my life." - Anonymous

"Personally, I make sure I stay in contact with those I love the most during the week. My children and grandchildren all live out of town. A phone call to any one of my grandchildren always lifts my spirits. Their energy is contagious, even over the phone." - Kathy, Harper University Hospital

"I take my dog on a long walk and then once home drink a large glass of ice water to flush out any remaining stress hormones." - Shelley, RN, Pittsburgh, PA

Needed: Advice from Nurses

2009-03-10T13:19:00.008-04:00

I need your help. We've been struggling with something here at the Josie King Foundation. Here's the deal: we are creating a toolkit for nurses, something that will help nurses cope with the stresses of the job, something that will make their days a little better, something that will let them know how much we appreciate them. I know lots and lots of nurses. I've seen them at work in hospitals around the country. I'd like to think that I sort of have a notion as to what it must be like to be a nurse, but the truth of the matter is- I don't REALLY know.

So, I am asking all of you wonderful nurses to help. Here's what I'm looking for: quick tips on how to cope with the challenges of being a nurse. What do you do that helps you do your job well? What have you discovered that helps you deal with stress? It could be anything like:

"Once a week I buy fresh flowers to put in the nurses' snack room." - Sandy K., RN, Grand Rapids, MI

"When I come home after a long day on the job, I like to bake cookies with my eight-year-old." - Sue S., RN, BSN, Tampa, FL

"I just started walking for forty minutes every day with my neighbor. It really helps clear my head, and my jeans fit a little better." - Tamara M., RN, Houston, TX

Please post your tried and true tips below. You can also email your tips to nursing@josieking.org. We want to collect and share your great ideas with other nurses. If you would like to, please include your city and state, too.

I'll be sure to share updates on this project as it progresses, but right now we need as many tips as possible from nurses. Spread the word to your nursing friends and colleagues, and have them post their tips, too.

Thanks so much for your help with this, and for all of your hard work with patients,

Sorrel

Patient Safety Week

2009-03-09T12:46:00.005-04:00

It's Patient Safety Week- a time to reflect on all of the great patient safety projects and initiatives that have been under way. So many people have done so much to make our hospitals safer and for that I am forever grateful. But this is also a week to look ahead towards an even safer, better health care system. From what I can see, we have come a long way, but the journey is not over yet. There is work to be done.

I've heard from nurses and doctors all around the country who are planning on commemorating Patient Safety Week. There will be speeches announcing new safety programs, and ceremonies honoring caregivers who have done remarkable safety work. Patient safety is front and center, and I am excited about that.

Let's stay invigorated. A few quick hopes of mine:

If you are a caregiver, keep focusing on improving how you communicate with your co-workers and patients. Even if your team communicates well, the nature of team work is one of continual change, and it helps to check in every now and then to make sure everything is still working well.

If you are a student, keep learning about patient safety and preventing medical errors. Ask your professor or mentor about the changes they have seen with regard to medical errors since they started practicing.

If you are a patient or family member, thank your health care team for incorporating patient safety techniques into their daily routine.

I'll be commemorating Patient Safety Week with a few groups around the country this week. I hope that everybody is able to support Patient Safety Week in a way that is helpful and meaningful for them.

Keep up the good work!

-Sorrel